In continuing this project I started with my grandmothers, I will try to do justice to my grandfathers although I never knew any of them. The lack of older male role models in my life did always leave a empty place in my heart as I knew friends and relatives who had wonderful relationships with grandfathers. My husband, especially, had some pretty special grandfathers. Although I never had the opportunity to know mine, I did get to know one of my husband's pretty well for at least the last almost 20 years. What I have learned from watching my husband's relationship with his grandfather and also from watching how he has been a father to our children has taught me a few things about some of the men who I missed out on knowing.
My Biological Maternal Grandfather
Barner "Barney" James Allman
Born: June 30, 1908
Mecklenburg County, NC
Died: September 1, 1968
Mooresville, IN
Parents: James Garner Allman & Carrie I. Mason
Siblings: Flora Margaret, John Adam, Myrtle Mae, William Lee, Della Ruth, Ethel Ruby, Mary Lucille & Eunice Frances
Children: Betty Allman, James Allman, Ronald Dell Allman & Connie Nell Allman
Although I never actually knew my grandfather as he had passed away more than a decade before my birth and had moved to Indiana and remarried before that. It is understandable that my biological grandmother kept very few pictures to remember him, but I did find a few that depicted him as a loving father to my mother.
Barney with daughter, Connie
General Jasper Ginn (yes, General was his actual first name)
Born: September 30, 1918
Wayne County, NC
Died: January 25, 1986
At home in Pikeville, NC
Parents: General Jackson Ginn & Sallie Ann Howell
Siblings: Beulah E., George Roy, Lonnie Jackson, Theodore Leslie, Eschol D., Ezekiel, Annie Bell, Eula Mae, Mary Lee, Carl D. & John Coy
Wife: Glady Aileen Sullivan
Children: Lena Gray, Mary Lindora, Sandra, Baby Boy, Jackie Carol & Henry Shelton
I won't re-tell the sad story of his passing again since I did that in my last post. Instead, I will tell what I know of him from my mother. My mother almost worshipped her father. I could imagine from her stories and from his loving wife that he was a man worthy of knowing. He was very well-known and well-loved in his community. He was a faithful Christian who led my adopted father, his son-in-law, to become a Christian and later become a minister. When my father was dating my mother, they would visit with my mom's parents on Sunday afternoons. Apparently nothing stood in the way of my grandfather and going to church. No matter who was visiting in his home, when it was church time, he would tell them he was leaving for church and if they wanted to stay, he would see them when he returned. I also learned that my mother had been a daddy's girl since she was an infant. My mother was actually what I call a "rainbow baby" as she was the fourth girl but fifth child after the loss of her older brother at birth. I know that my grandfather particularly wanted a son so this loss was felt deeply. Now that I have felt this kind of heartbreaking loss, I can appreciate what he probably felt. I also had longed for a daughter after two sons, and I lost that beloved daughter. My first rainbow was another son, and although it hurts a little to admit that I felt the tiniest pang of disappointment when hearing that my rainbow was another boy, I also know that the joy and love I felt when I finally got that sweet baby boy and held him in my arms was like no other joy I have felt. I know that I have been specially bonded to my sweet Mattox since he was born. He is just such a precious gift. So I know that although my grandfather did feel a slight pang of disappointment when his "rainbow baby" was another girl, and he jokingly wanted to call her a boy name, he settled on the name Jackie and he babied her and spoiled her. When her younger brother did arrive, she was so distraught with jealousy that she flung herself on the bed where he laid with her mother and was probably going to do something drastic when her father caught her and carried her away. I know he gave her a lot of special attention growing up and that she often got herself out of the heavier outdoor farm chores because of that attention. She was the most attached to her parents and did not want to leave home like her siblings. She did finally venture out on her own to work in Washington, D.C. as a government civil employee and later met her husband, but after living abroad and in other parts of the country while in the military, they later settled on land gifted to them by her parents so she could live close to them again. The hardest loss of my mother's life hit shortly after when her father suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. I don't think my mother ever got over her grief. She was already grieving the fact that she could not bear children. Thankfully, God blessed her and her husband with the gift of an opportunity to serve at a Children's Home which I believe saved my mother from being permanently stricken with grief and depression. She became a mother to a household of young girls, and she was a very loving and hardworking mother making that house into a beautiful home for everyone.
