Daddy's Words to Mattie

My sweet girl and me

My wife warns you that this one might make you cry.  She encouraged me to write a special letter to Mattie to say at her memorial service.  It was very hard for me to do, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to read it out loud, but she asked me to try because she did not feel that anyone else could do it as it needed to be done.  I agreed with her although it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  Here's my letter to our precious daughter:

My Beautiful, Precious Angel, Mattie,

Words cannot express the heartache that your mother, all of your family, and I feel for you being called away so soon to be an angel.  There were so many things your mother and I had planned for you.  So many things that growing up is supposed to bring. We had big plans for you.   I was looking forward to the long nights of crying, feeding, changing of diapers, and most of all cuddling you these next few months.  As you grew, I was looking forward to knowing your every mannerism, how you liked to be held, how your hand felt when it gripped my finger.  I was looking forward to finding all those tickle spots that make you laugh and giggle, all the ways that as your daddy I could make you smile.  I was looking forward to the way your big brothers would kiss your head and hold you so gently and lovingly.  As you grew, we had big plans for you!  We had so many things we were looking forward to teaching you.  Big events were in your future.  The first event would have been rolling over then next sitting up on your own to be followed by crawling.  I was looking forward to you chasing your brothers around the house, cooing and laughing as they ran.  We had big plans for you.  Like your first steps holding our hands or your first piggy back ride that only daddy can give you.  Of course your brothers would not have let a piggy back ride be going on without their joining in on the fun.  I was so looking forward to the back pain of having 75 pounds of laughter, joy and love riding on my back.  We had big plans for you!  I was looking forward to the many trips and adventures that we would take together as a family.  Also, those daddy daughter adventures that only we would enjoy.  Big things were to come.  Your first words were to be next.  Would it be Daddy, Mama, Evan, Brody, or something random and silly?  So many gifts and beautiful things were in your future: dresses, jewelry, shoes, purses, your first ear piercing, and your first make up.  Walking around in mommy’s shoes and playing dress up were all there for you to discover.  Your first day of school, your first dance recital, your prom and graduating from high school and heading off to college to become a doctor or lawyer or whatever you wanted to be.  We had big plans for you!  Meeting the man of your dreams and falling in love.  Daddy scaring the death out of him to make sure he wouldn’t hurt my little girl.  Watching you and Mommy picking out your wedding dress and making plans, walking you down the aisle and giving you away, all these were in your future.  We wanted so much to see you grow in life, to watch you as a sister to your brothers, grow into a beautiful intelligent woman, loving wife and mother. Our plans were not as important as God’s plan.  He had big plans for you!  He gave you to us to love, care for and nurture.  He had big plans for you!  He gave you life and movement for us to enjoy.  Feeling your kicks and turns in mommy’s tummy, telling the boys that you were an alien and seeing their laughter.  God had big plans for you!  He gave you to us to teach us to care for his precious gift no matter how long you were to be with us for, whether 9 months or 80 years.  He still has big plans for you!  You will forever be a Guardian Angel to your two brothers, watching over them the rest of their lives.  You will always be in our hearts.  Our love will never fade for you, and you will never be forgotten.   God’s love poured out on us through family and friends, through the thousands of prayers that have been prayed, and the tears that have been shed are all reminders that His plans are the most important!  My precious, beautiful, daughter Mattie, we love you, we will miss you, and we will never forget you.  You will always be our angel and Daddy’s little girl!!!   I love you!   

P.S.  Don’t believe everything your Great-Grandma tells you about me!